Killian's Trousers
by Flslp87
Summary: It's family dinner night and Emma and Killian have a 'discussion' about what is and isn't appropriate for him to wear to dinner.


It's family dinner night and Killian and Emma are on their way to the Charming's when they have a slight disagreement about what Killian should wear. This is a collaborative ficlet between a few of us from tumblr - myself (flslp87). duathadon, xhookeswenchx and xemmaloveskillianx. We hope you enjoy.

 **Killians Trousers**

Emma ran in the house and tossed her keys on the table. Running upstairs she began pulling off her sweater and unbuttoning her shirt. Tonight they were meeting her parents for dinner and sharing the news that they finally could start planning the wedding. She knew her mom would love that but was actually quite frightened about what a spectacle it might become.

Good she thought, hearing the shower running. Killian is home and should be ready in a bit. Heading into the closet she grabbed a clean blouse and skirt and slipped them on. As she was slipping into her shoes, she heard the bathroom door open. "Swan, you home?"

"In here. I'll be out in a minute." Pulling a sweater around her shoulders she walked out of the closet and her chin hit her chest! "Killian!" She stuttered. "You can't wear those pants. You can see your…"

His eyebrow rose and her cheeks turned pink. The all too familiar cocky grin developed on his face and his tongue peeked out to swipe his bottom lip.

"My…?"

Her eyes glowed with embarrassment. They had been together for years, were engaged to get married, and he still made her feel like a school girl.

"You can't wear them!" she hissds before she turned back to the closet to grab her shoes.

His hook appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her arm. Emma turned and her eyes went into slits when she saw the look of pure joy on his face.

" _Appendage?"_

Emma stutteeds out a breath and her eyes fluttered before they moved back down….

Oh, he definitely can't wear those pants. What the hell was he thinking? "You are not wearing those in public," she stated.

"Oh?" She could practically hear his smirk.

"Yeah," she stammered. There was no way she was going to let everyone in Storybrooke get a glimpse of HER fiancé. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to change though, so she took matters into her own hand.

"Normally, I wouldn't argue, love," he continued to tease her as she started undoing his pants, "but, we are running late, and I'd rather your father not run me through agai- BLOODY HELL!"

Her pirate literally jumped back two feet and started to rebutton his pants while glaring at her.

"Do you mind! Your hands are bloody freezing! What did you do? Run them under ice water before you tried to divest me of my more than reasonable trousers! I mean these are no different than my leathers I used to wear."

Emma huffed in annoyance. Normally she loved to watch Killian get all worked up about things like this but the clock was ticking and she did not want to get "The Look" her parents reserved for when she and Killian were late because they got distracted.

If she had time to be honest with herself those pants were extremely distracting. They fit like a second skin putting on full display his considerable assets. Why couldn't he realize that these were not Sunday dinner pants? She had to think fast on how to talk him out of them.

"Killian," Emma took a deep breath and tried to relax, "you can't wear those pants. We're meeting mom and dad at a 'family' restaurant and not 'Chip n Dale's"

"Swan I fail to see what some show that your mother puts on that talking box with talking mice and chipmunks has to do with my pants." Killian huffed impatiently.

"Oh Killian." Emma shook her head, tossing her hands up in the air, "whatever am I going to do with you?"

"Well, Swan, now that you ask," he stepped close and grabbing her hand pulled her close, "I can think of a few things."

Emma put her hands against his chest. "we don't have time for a quickie."

"A quickie? Just what is a quickie?" he questioned.

"You know, quick sex," she responded.

"Oh Swan, what I have in mind will definitely not be a quickie," he smirked.

Emma took a step back trying to put some distance between them. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Killian, when going to dinner with my parents, you can't wear those," waving her hands toward his pants, " they show your assets."

"And just how do these trousers show my worth?"

"How about this," she was positive that she had come up with an expression that he would know, "neither my family, nor the rest of Storybrooke, really need to know how you _dress_ , Killian." (see notes at bottom of story if you don't get that pun)

He just looked at her with a confused stare, "Why would your family or Storybrooke care how I dress? I put my clothes on just like everyone else."

Emma lets out a sigh before she bit her lip. "They ugh…."

Killian stared at her with a raised eyebrow. She reached up to scratch her head before she motioned to his pants. "Well, they…"

"Spit it out, Swan."

A little growl escaped her before she grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to turn and look in the full length mirror.

"Do you see?"

"That I'm devilishly handsome?" he asked with a smirk. "Always."

She rolld her eyes before she got an idea. A small smile formed on her face before her hands slowly make their way around his waist. She hears him let out a slight gasp and she goes up on her toes to look over his shoulder in the mirror.

Gazing into the mirror Emma watched Killian's eyes shut tight and his head falls back as he lets out a gutteral moan.

"Bad form, Swan" he growls in her ear and she realized she had just made a huge error. Sure she made her point but now the more than obvious problem with his pants would not subside easily.

"Suddenly my trousers are feeling a tad more than tight and I feel the need to remove them immediately."

Before she can say or let alone stop him, he turned in her arms and gave her a look of sin and she is done for. Capturing her lips in his, he kissed her till her toes curled and suddenly the idea of being on time for dinner for once seemed like a silly one….

An hour and half later Charming opened up the door with "THAT LOOK" aimed at Killian, who was standing there wearing a pair of loose fitting jeans and a smug look and holding tightly to her left hand.

"Hi dad. Sorry we're late….again." Emma said sheepishly.

Snow grabbed the door and stepped in front of David, "Emma, you should have called."

Squeezing Killian's hand even tighter, she sputters, "Sorry mom, we, ugh," _think Emma, how are you going to get out of this?_ Feeling something sliding on to her left ring finger, she glanced over her shoulder at Killian, who was nonchalantly scratching behind his ear, _"_ Mom, dad, Killian and I…..and then she stopped and held up her left hand."

Snow yelled, "A RING!" and grabbed Emma's hand to pull her inside the apartment.

Emma turned to look over her shoulder at Killian. He winked and blew her a kiss. _Saved this time_ , she thought, _but what about next?_

As they walked into the house she overheard Killian say to her dad, "Sorry we're late Dave, but Emma was obsessed with my trousers. Said they showed how I dressed, although I'm not sure why she thought you would care."

Charming's mouth dropped open and he started to choke. Killian pounded him on the back. "You alright there, mate?"

 **We hope you enjoyed this silliness.**

Dressing left and dressing right are terms that most men, at least those who wear suits, know. It's a term used by tailors when fitting suit pants. To "dress left" means that one keeps one's male appendage shifted in the general direction of the left trouser leg. Likewise for the right.


End file.
